It seems like at least once a week, I’m scrolling through posts on social media (usually Facebook) and I see an image that makes my stomach hurt. A picture of a dangerous situation waiting to happen with a caption along the lines of “Oh look, how cute! Fido loves little Sammy!” No, Fido is being super patient while little Sammy stands on him to reach the kitchen sink. Or he is calmly accepting that he is being used as a pillow, a riding toy, etc. He is ignoring his own discomfort and tolerating unwanted, unfair behavior, because Fido is a freaking trooper.
But just because your child hasn’t been bitten or the dog isn’t growling, does NOT mean that the situation is a good one, and it definitely isn’t cute. It’s an unhealthy lesson to teach your child, and one that could come back to bite them, literally. Dogs are man’s best friend for a reason. They are loyal to a fault and will deal with a LOT from their humans, but they too have a breaking point. Please don’t wait for your dog to reach theirs before you teach your child how to treat them correctly. By then, it may very well be too late. And 99% of the time, completely preventable.
In this post, you will find tips on how to ensure your dog and child have a safe, healthy relationship from the beginning. If your baby hasn’t arrived yet, or if you are adding a new furry addition to your family, be sure to also check out our post on How To Introduce Your Dog and Your New Baby Smoothly .
Establishing a Healthy Child/Dog Relationship in 5 Easy Steps
Step 1: Set Boundaries and Expectations
It seems that far too often, when a new child is brought into the home, the dogs are just expected to know what to do. Not only that, but to deal with whatever comes along with said child without showing any signs of discomfort or disapproval. They need to learn a new set of rules, a new set of expectations. They need to be on their best behavior at all times, especially around the baby.
While some dogs seem to have a sixth sense about tiny humans and somehow “know” that they are fragile and they need to be gentle (mine sure did!), that’s not something you should bank on. Be sure to calmly and consistently teach your dogs what’s expected of them. They want to please you, but they aren’t mind readers.
Our pack was pretty amazing with little Parker from the get-go, but they were also a little too excited about the new addition. We had to teach them not to try to jump on him, to be careful when he’s on the floor so he doesn’t get knocked over, not to lick him to death (okay, we’re still working on that one, but they just love him so much!). BUT, the important thing here is that the dogs have not been the only ones going through extra training. Parker has too.
Step 2: Start Them Young
As soon as Parker was old enough to notice the dogs and try to interact with him, we started working on teaching HIM to be gentle with them as well. Do they not deserve the same respect, protection, and personal space as the humans in the home? Of course they do!
He was way too young to understand words like “gentle”, or “don’t grab his eyes”, but we said them anyway. And more than that, we showed him. When he’d try to grab a handful of their fur, we’d open up his little hand and gently stroke them instead. We’d model proper behavior, showing him daily how to be respectful and sweet towards his furry siblings. When he tried to grab their ears, we would gently remove his hand, say “we can’t pull ears” and again show him how to gently pet them.
Step 3: Supervision and Anticipation
You can teach your dogs and your baby how to safely interact with each other, but it doesn’t happen overnight. It’s not something you can tell them once and then expect smooth sailing for life. As our child grows and gets more mobile, there are also different things to watch out for. It is ultimately YOUR responsibility to make sure that both your pets and your child are safe. This means they should NEVER be left in each other’s presence without proper supervision.
The BIGGEST factor in establishing a good report between your kids and pets is YOU. You know your dogs. You know what bothers them, what doesn’t. You know their body language. You alone can anticipate situations that may put them out of their comfort zone and prevent them.
The same goes for your child. You know their tendencies and fascinations. If they take off crawling across the room because your dog is super happy and wagging his tail all over the place, you know that they are probably about to try to grab it. Because you know this and you’re paying attention, you can stop them before they do.
Here are some examples of possible triggers:
- Feeding time – Always keep your child away from your dog(s) while they are eating. Even if they aren’t a resource guarder, they deserve to eat in peace.
- Toys – Just like with food, teach your child not to grab a toy out of your dog’s mouth that they’re chewing on/playing with. This prevents both accidental bites from overly excited pups as well as resource guarding.
- Standing – If your child is just learning how to stand, they are probably using anything and everything around them to pull up on. Make sure you teach them not to do so by grabbing handfuls of the family dog’s fur as leverage.
- Rough Housing – If your dogs are anything like mine, they probably like a good tussle from time to time. Dogs love to play by jumping and rolling and chasing each other. They should still be able to do this when you have a small child, you just need to make sure that no one accidentally gets trampled in the process. We ensure this by either moving Parker to another area or encouraging the dogs to take their wrestling match outside.
Step 4: Safe Spaces
When properly supervised, dogs and kids, even babies, can easily live and play together in harmony. But let’s be honest, we can’t always give them 100% of our attention. This is why I suggest that you have a way to separate them when needed. Whether it be a baby gate, a playpen, or a separate room, create a place where your child can play away from your dogs.
Not only does this take some extra pressure off of you, it gives your dogs a break as well. Kids can be a lot sometimes. I know Parker REALLY loves his pups, but occasionally he wants to love them a little too much. In our house, we solved this issue by creating a playroom for Parker right off of the living room. He can play and be wild and the dogs can take a nap without being disturbed. Extra bonus: Stray toys don’t become chew toys when the dogs get bored with their own.
Step 5: Positive Reinforcement
As with any kind of training, it’s vital that you not only teach your dogs (and your children) what is expected of them, but also reward them for doing what you ask. Adding Parker to the mix meant more rules for the dogs, but I make sure that it also means special treats, snuggles, and lots of love as a reward.
This also means making time for your dogs whenever you can. Life can get crazy when you have a young child crawling (or running) around, but don’t forget to make sure your dogs’ needs are met too. When your child takes a nap, throw the ball a few extra times. Invite your dog to snuggle up in the seldom empty spot on your lap while you watch TV after they go to bed. Make sure they know they are still loved and still an important part of the family.
I truly believe that if you follow these steps, you will have a happy, harmonious home and your child will have a best furry friend for life! You just need to help them get off on the right foot.
Thanks for reading,
Debbie & The Mutts
Questions? Comments? Other suggestions that we may have missed? We’d love to hear from you. Leave us a comment below.
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19 Comments
What a great post! I hope parents with small children take your advice and start training everyone early on. I just LOVE your photos!
Great post! I see so many pictures online of kids interacting with dogs that make me cringe. I wish more parents would teach their kids how to responsibly interact with pets. I don’t have kids myself, but have run into issues with other people’s children when I’m out walking my dogs around the city.
Fantastic article and love the pictures!! You’re so right. While those images get a lot of shares, they are often accidents waiting to happen. I hope this post helps people realise it’s about teaching their children, not only the dog, and creating situations that are safe for everyone. Raising dogs and children together is a beautiful thing, let’s not ruin it with reckless behaviour.
Fantastic post and one that everyone should read. I agree with you, I cringe every time I see those posts of FB also as in the end when tragedy happens a kid is traumatized and a pet loses its life. You are doing an amazing job training both of them.
I am perpetually stunned at how little parents teach their kids when it comes to interaction with animals. SO many cringe moments. I’ve had kids literally come up behind me and start petting the dogs on my lap – startling ALL of us! I don’t get it. Then you come across a kid that knows and it’s such a joy. “May I pet your dog?” … it gives me the opportunity to say “Yes, but let me put him on the ground, and you crouch and wait for him to come to you ok??” … SO much better!
I love this post and will share it! When my daughter was born we had 4 senior cats and a small senior dog. Like you we created safe spaces and created boundaries. I also tried to spend as much alone time with my pets as possible (this was sometimes challenging) but I wanted them to also feel confident and comfortable with the change in schedules, etc. And of course, I supervised all interactions and watched for signals of stress.
I love your photos – you absolutely prove that it is possible for your dogs and kid to have a relationship and get those adorable photo ops without putting either in harm’s way. I see so many scary pics of dogs and babies on social media, too. I’m afraid to say anything because people get very defensive about their kids.
This is such a great post and we love that you’ve created safety and boundaries for everyone/dog to feel good and interactive yet protected! We were reading today about how positive training isn’t a method, more so it’s a way of life – your post speaks to that too!
Great post! I’ll have to forward the link to my niece who is expecting her baby any day now and she has three dogs! I loved how you encouraged your baby, even at such a young age, to respect the dog and not pull on his fur.
Great post. * shakes imaginary owners by the throat *
How can people be so thoughtless when it comes to small children and dogs (or cats for that matter). People need rules, ground rules and then guidelines against their own silliness!
We ended up with our tortie Sienna because she was returned as ‘feral’ the vet surgery she was adopted from. So, we took her home. This feral cat was the ONLY cat we have who played with Dash consistently on his seeing side (he had micropthalmia). The family probably tried to pick her up – risky with a tortie!
People need to know that dogs are patient but they are not saints. They love to rough house but kids can unknowingly cause pain. I loved your warming triggers. A dog may snap or nip because it’s been hurt, after all if someone stands on my foot I am not overjoyed!
I see a printable in this! Something sweet and simple for a family to print off and pin on the wall.
Training a dog really starts and ends with training the human.
I adore your photos! I’m enjoying reading your posts about how the dogs and the new baby are getting to know each other.
This is so important!! Cat or dog (or whatever else you have for pets) need to be respected in their home, and people need to understand the pets have had their lives upended by the tiny human. Kids do need to be taught how to interact with the pets and the parents need to make sure it happens.
One of the greatest gifts you can give dogs and kids is the opportunity to love each other.
I love your 5 easy steps to help those relationships flourish.
When my kids were small, I never left them unsupervised with our dogs, even though most of our dogs were “perfect dogs.” The stakes were too high to take a chance.
Parker is such a lucky guy having 4 dogs plus his own playroom!
I can’t tell you how fabulous this post is! It’s information that every parent needs to know. I feel like they should teach this in parenting classes – maybe it would eliminate families surrendering dogs & cats just because they have a new baby. That photo of Parker laying down w/ the pups is to die for – I Love it!!
Love & Biscuits,
Dogs Luv Us and We Luv Them
Excellent post! I, too, have written about babies and dogs as I believe it is so important for us to shine light on this subject. We gradually introduced our Huskies to the baby even before he was born, and then a gradual meet and greet after. They love each other now, and my grandson is very respectful to the dogs, because that is how he was taught, and it is always in a control environment. I so shudder when I hear babies and kids stand or sit on their dogs! Pinning your important post to share!
This is SOOO important. Thank you for sharing this information. As mama to smaller dogs, kids assume they are puppies and beeline for them. My guys are fearful and don’t appreciate it. I am constantly educating other peoples children, and the parents! Don’t get me wrong, there are many that have been taught, and are very respectful, and ask to meet my dogs. I praise the heck out of those children (and thank the parents).
Excellent article!
Too many people expect only the dog to get accustomed to the child and tolerate their behavior all the while not educating the child about the dos and dont’s of proper interspecies etiquette. That’s especially important if you are a proud guardian of a dog that’s grumpy and doesn’t have a lot of patience.
I couldn’t agree more! Far too many people expect their dogs to endure an unfair amount of abuse from their kids. A little bit of work with both your dogs and child can easily make it a happy, safe home for everyone. Grumpy pups included. 🙂 Thanks for reading